Thanks to my awesome husband, I’ve read many non-fiction books by some great people. Since I prefer fiction, I definitely have to attribute that to him. Multiple writers have taught that you can only be good at a few things at a time. As in, you can only put your focus on, and do your best at, 3-5 things at once. Different authors say 3 or 5.
When I read this, I was in the middle of trying to build a business from home, homeschool, had just had a baby plus our 2 and 4 year old and the day to day house related tasks, my marriage, and my walk with Christ. Count that up and you get a big 5. Yep, that doesn’t seem too bad, right? I didn’t think so at the time, but as I continued to read on this, I took a long look at my life. Was I doing anything well? I honestly felt stressed out and if I got ahead on one thing, the house was behind and the kids were missing me. And vice versa. I didn’t know what to do. So I decided to sit down and rank these things. How important did I want to make all of it?
Here was my list:
#1 God, my relationship. I wanted to grow and be used by God.
#2 J- my marriage was incredibly important. I wanted to keep that relationship as the second most important one in my life, and grow closer to him and work constantly on it.
#3 My kids- these little crazies are our life. We work hard to live a faith filled life, to teach them to serve and give and love on others. We are very involved, and are also outnumbered by the little wildlings. So we have to be on point with them!
#4 Our home. God blessed us with a great house. We prayed in the first few months, that God would use the house to love on others. To be a place that people feel welcome and that they can be themselves and grow in Christ. That he would use us in the lives of others in this place we’ve made into a home. So I want to take care of it.
#5 A business. Here’s the kicker. I love to work. LOVE to work. I know that sounds crazy, especially on top of our crazy kids and all that. But seriously, I love it. So I wanted to grow the business. It was important to me to have this business that I could call MINE.
There’s my list. I sat looking at it for a long time. #5, that business, seemed so important. But here’s the thing….God gave J a great job. One with a great company, who takes incredible care of him. And that great job brought in a great paycheck, that more than took care of our family.
So here I am, stressing out our family, feeling like a failure because someone and something is always left unfinished, when God was very obviously taking care of us.
What did I do in that moment? I made a tough decision. I decided it wasn’t worth it. God did not call me to that business. Not right now. Yes, I enjoyed it. But my pride, PRIDE in what I built, what I had done, kept me doing a business for myself that was causing trouble for my family.
So I took a step back. I honestly thought it would be harder than it was. But I got to catch up on everything and be with my husband and kids in a way that I hadn’t for over 18 months. I got to start running again and get back into my art. It was quickly obvious that I was on the right track.
Then God brought J a promotion, very unexpectedly. Into a job he was excited about, that offered a change of pace. It was a pretty big smack in the face reminder that God has it all under control, if I would suck it up and be patient.
But now what? Yes, our family was so much happier. We got caught up, were eating better, saving money because I was able to put a bigger focus on it. But despite it all, I sometimes get hit with the question….
What about me?
I feel lost amidst being a wife and mom. So I decided to start a journey of finding contentment and me….
Whatever that means.
I’m going to delve into the Bible, find what God says to me about it. Read books from other christian women who have gone through the same. Look for wisdom in all the places I can. God has it there for me and I am aiming to learn His words of wisdom and I hope to share it all with you.
Let’s start the journey!!